My Life's a Fanfiction!
by Airihs
Summary: Cameron was a perfectly normal girl. Okay, maybe not. But she did not expect to be zapped into her own fanfiction. Or fall in love with a certain ferret… (adopted from bonniebonbon)
1. Ze First Chapter

**Hey, everyone! So to those who don't know, I just adopted this story from Bonniebonbon. She wrote the first four chapters, which are all hilarious. But since humor isn't really my thing, chapters five and so on won't be as funny.**

** Right...so...on with ze chapter...?**

* * *

_Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock…_

Stupid writer's block. I've been sitting at my desk for the last 45 minutes staring at my cup. It's not giving me any inspiration yet. Let's stare at the window now.

That's it. I'm done. I quit. Yes, I already wrote 40 chapters, but I honestly don't know how to end the stupid thing. Who cares if Harry and Sam get together?

Hmm. About 350 people.

I have to say, I'm impressed. I did not expect to get this many readers! I mean…it's not that interesting. It's about a normal muggle girl named Sam who got a Hogwarts letter! And turned Malfoy to a ferret. Permanently. And then fell in love with the ferret-malfoy. Then died, and reincarnated into a ferret. Then they fell in love. Again. And they lived happily ever after.

I'm just kidding, jeez! Malfoy sucks. Why would I make my OC fall in love with a brat like him?

It's just about a muggle girl named Sam who got a Hogwarts letter and went to Hogwarts (obviously, who in their right mind would turn down a Hogwarts letter?!), and has a crush on Harry (kinda like me, except with green eyes and is a witch.). Honestly, there are tons of fan fics like this. But hey, people like mine!

I'm touched.

I wish I was Sam. My life is so boring.

Here's a preview.

My normal day:

Wake up (20 minutes after the alarm goes off)

Eat breakfast (Lucky Charms, because the rainbows are cute. And colourful. Get used to my spelling of colourful, I'm Canadian)

Go to School. School's boring. You don't do anything. And everyone acts like kindergarteners.

To clarify: My entire class consists of _boys. _I'm the only girl.

Meaning I have to endure their stupidity everyday. And their very, very lame pick-up lines. I think it's because they haven't seen a girl for so long that I am like an angel from heaven. Unlike them, who are more messed-up looking than platypus roadkill.

So, yeah. I hate boys. If only there was a guy like Harry in my class…

So…after school, I have piano. I love piano. It's the only thing I look forward to everyday, other than fanfiction.

Then I do my homework, if I have any. After that, I watch some Wong Fu Productions videos on Youtube (Who thinks Ted's the best? J) and go to sleep. Or write fanfiction 'til one in the morning.

And there's my day! Isn't it so exciting? (That was sarcasm, by the way)

"_Sorry everyone. I don't know how to end this story properly. Thank you for reading anyway. If you guys want, you can continue it yourselves._"

What? It's my first time writing an "I'm-going-to-quit-notice." Do you want me to start bawling or something?

It's not like I'm happy or anything. Writing that fanfic was my life. Now it's just piano and watching Ted being awesome.

**Sigh**. I wish I lived in a fan fiction.


	2. Ze Second Chapter

_RRRRRRING! RRRRRRING!_

Oh, shut up.

_RRRRRRING! RRRRING!_

Five more minutes….

_RRRRRRING!_

JEEZ! I'm GETTING UP! CHILL!

I make my way to my bathroom and fill a cup with freezing water.

SPLASH!

Yeah, um, it's pretty obvious what I just did.

Hint: I'm finally awake.

I think I stink, but who am I trying to impress? So I pick up a pair of ripped-up, too short jeans and a blue (or maybe green? My eyes are still drooping) sweater. I waddle (what? I'm half-asleep. Sorry for my limited vocabulary!) to the mirror and comb my hair.

Ha! I just realized you don't know how I look like. Well...I have long brown hair and green eyes. And even though I don't try to impress anyone or anything (wait…anything? Never mind…) I must admit I'm pretty pretty (OH YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN…)

Wait a sec.

Since when did I have green eyes?

I have blue eyes. Not green. I walk closer to the mirror. Yep, those are green. Oh my god, did I turn colour blind or something…?

Hmm. I must say green eyes suit me.

Oh right. Colour blind. Just as I begin to tell mom, she calls up to me from downstairs.

"Sam, hurry up!"

I froze.

Sam? Last time I checked, my name was Cameron. Maybe I heard wrong. She might've said Cam.

"Please, Sam, the bus is here!"

Okay. Totally hyperventilating. She said Sam. Twice. And I never took the bus in my life.

"Mom?" I make my way down the stairs. "Are you okay?"

"Of course! What makes you think that I'm not? Now, the bus is waiting, go!"

"I haven't had breakfast yet, mom!" What the hell is going on?

"Don't you eat at school? Sorry honey, I have to go to work now. Bye, love you." She runs out the door. I hear the click-clacking of her heels coming back. "By the way, I left some money for you on the counter." She ran back out.

I am so confused. My mom…she works at home. And…I never eat at school. Something is going on…

Shoot! The bus! I quickly grab the money on the counter and rush out of the door. Then back in. I forgot my backpack. I lock the door and run to the bus, waiting in front of my house.

"Hi, sorry I'm late!"

"S'okay, Sam!" Sam. Again. Is this a joke?

I grab a seat near the back. I watch the landscape change through the windows. Since when was that tree there? Or that house?

Or that school?

_Yorkdale Heights. _That…is not my school. But…it sounds familiar.

"Excuse me, sir, this isn't my school…"

"Sure it is, whatcha talkin' about, Sam?" The man smiled. "Ha ha, still tired, huh? Good luck in school today!" The man nudged me, and I walked out, feeling the most confused in my entire life. He waved to me and drove away.

It's weird. It's like he knows me.

What am I supposed to do now? Am I supposed to just walk in? Maybe I got amnesia and forgot everything. Maybe this is my school, but I forgot.

After playing a game of Enie Meenie Miney Mo, I walk in. Now what? Where's my class? I go to the office and ask the secretary.

"Miss, I don't know my class…"

"Oh, hey Sam! You, not remembering your class? Well, that's a first! I guess I'll let you off for this one. You're in," she checks the time table, "class 206."

"Um…where's that?"

"Oh, don't kid with me, Sam! I have a lot of work to do, you know!" She gives me a smile and waves me off as to say, "Get going now!"

Get going where?

I walk out and see a guy my age walking down the hall. "Um, excuse me, do you know where class 206 is?"

He smirked. "Yeah, but the school's pretty big and you might get lost. Here, I'll walk you there." Oh great. Another flirter. Okay, not as bad as platypus roadkill. Maybe up a level. Dying platypus.

I really wanted to say, "No, I'm quite alright…" but did I really have a choice? I have to use my ''Veela charm" to my advantage J. Quite Slytherin-y of me, I know. I always thought I'd be a Slytherin if I went to Hogwarts. But the thing is, I DON'T want to be in Slytherin, because that means I'd have to be in the same House as the stupid Malfoy ferret.

"Sure, that'll be nice." He looked like a happy dying platypus.

While we were walking, he asked, "Hey, what's your name? My name's Cam."

Oh god. I'm not even sure I know. It's Cam, right? But everyone keeps calling me Sam. So…what should I say?

Wait, what did he say? _"My name's Cam." _Whoa. That's creepy."Cam, as in…Cameron?"

"Uh, yeah."

"Nice name!" I laughed mentally at my own inside joke. Or maybe not. My name might not be Cam. It could be Sam.

Wait. So I just complimented him? Just like that?

_Bleh._

"Thanks! What's yours?"

"Uh…." I realized we stopped. Thank god. "Um, I better get going, bye! Thanks for walking me here.…" I quickly opened and closed the door.

"Miss Whitfield, please take a seat." I spun around.

Oh. My. God.

I know now.

I know why people call me Sam, why I have green eyes, why I take the bus to a school I've never been to—

I know why. (And I bet you know, too.)

I got zapped into my own fanfiction!

You know how I knew?

Because when I opened the door to room 206, and spun around—

An arm was extended.

And in its hand was a certain envelope.

A certain envelope called a Hogwarts letter.


	3. Ze Third Chapter

How the _bloody_ hell did this happen?

I must be dreaming. _Pinches self._

Ow. Okay, not a dream.

"Ms. Whitfield? This was addressed to you," the teacher, who I forgot the name of (_Shame,_ I know. I don't even know my own character's name) said.

"Thanks." I took the envelope and looked at the front. _Ms. Samantha Whitfield, Room 206, Yorkdale Heights._ To be honest, I was kind of disappointed—I wanted it to be, like, _Totally shocked __**real**__ girl about to faint in about two seconds standing awkwardly in front of an entire class of __**fake**__ people, __**fake **__class, __**fake**__ school._

But of course, I didn't write that. Sorry to disappoint you, guys. I'm not psychic.

But I am now. Well, for at least 40 chapters. Which is equivalent to, let's see—a month and ten days. Let's just hope I'm not stuck here for that long.

"Take a seat." Oh, yeah, I'm still standing here.

Wait—for how long? Was I just, like, standing here, looking awkward…?

_Samantha completely zoned out for about two minutes…_

Oh yeah. Crap, why did I make her so awkward? If I could, I'd change it to…

_Samantha did NOT completely zone out for two minutes, but instead looked awesome FOREVER._

But again, I wasn't psychic, which totally sucked.

Okay, maybe not.

I hate this. It's actually quite boring, knowing what's going to happen, who's going to say what—you catch my drift.

I have to live 40 chapters like this? A…month and ten days like this?

**Sigh. **I wish this were a dream.

…

You're thinking that I woke up and was suddenly back into my old life again, right? That this was all a dream or something cliché like that?

WELL, THINK AGAIN, EVERYONE!

Seems like I had one wish, and one wish only. Stupid Cameron. If I had known that, I would've totally asked to meet Harry Potter. Or ride a hippogriff. Or for a billion dollars.

OH. MY. GOD. (I know, it just came to me now. Stop laughing.)

I'm going to meet Harry Potter! _And_ ride a hippogriff!

But I won't get a billion dollars…

WHO CARES? I'M GOING TO MEET HARRY POTTER! (People are staring at me. What? You've never seen the happy dance before?)

Maybe this wish wasn't so bad, after all. It might be fun being psychic!

Plus…

There's still going to be a bunch of things I don't know.


	4. Ze Fourth Chapter

It's in two days. TWO. WHOLE. FREAKING. DAYS. The two longest days of my life.

You are probably wondering how I will be getting to Hogwarts and all, since I live in Canada.

Yeah, I totally thought this through when I was writing my fanfiction!

That was sarcasm, by the way.

Well, apparently, according to stupid-Cameron-from-the-past-who-obviously-needed- to-STOP-falling-asleep-at-two-in-the-morning, I just got my Hogwarts letter…and then magically appeared at Hogwarts.

_Magically. _Ironic, right?

So, yeah.

I have no idea what's going to happen.

...

It's in one day. ONE. WHOLE. FREAKING. DAY.

You're probably wondering what I did yesterday, right?

_"Thanks." I took the envelope (not just any envelope, though, it was a HOGWARTS LETTER!) and put it in a hidden pocket of my backpack (NO ONE SHALL TOUCH MY HOGWARTS LETTER!) I tried to act normal, but it was really hard to contain my happiness. I did it, anyway (since I am so awesome and now, officially, a WITCH!) but I don't think I did a good job (I still am an awesome witch, though!) because my "classmates" were whispering to each other about the "weird super excited dancing girl"._

_Okay. I was dancing. So—yeah. I didn't completely contain my happiness._

_Hey! It could've been worse. I could've jumped on my desk and sang "We Are The Champions" at the top of my lungs. Or cartwheeled (by the way, I don't know how to do a cartwheel). Or say, "Wingardium Leviosa" at the teacher with my pencil. _(I actually did do that the next day.)

_Anyway, I continued the day like it was completely normal. Well, I tried to, but I daydreamed about Hogwarts and doodled Cameron + Harry hearts on my desk. Plus some Sam + Harry, just in case. I still don't know who I really am. Honestly, if you came and told me that Snape was my mother and McGonagall was my father, I wouldn't be surprised._

_And no, that was not a mistake. I was that tired and fed up._

_Anyway, what's the point on dwelling on things that you will never find out, or understand? What's the point on dwelling on "What ifs?"_

_It's useless. I learned that a long time ago._

_But that's a whole other story._

So—yep. I did exactly what I would've done when I was, what's the word? Normal? Cameron? Not-sucked-into-her-own-fanfiction?

I went to school. I came home. Did my homework. Ate. Slept. Oh wait, scratch that. _Lay in bed for eight hours in the dark pretending that my pillow was Draco Malfoy and punching it to entertain myself, _was not considered sleep, apparently.

But really, did you expect me to fall asleep when I was going to Hogwarts in two days?

And now—it's in ONE! (More punching tonight, Ferret.)

...

IT'S TODAY.


	5. Ze Fifth Chapter

**Hola! So this is the chapter I wrote, it's not very good, so don't be scared to tell me if you don't like it. It's got over 2,000 words, hopefully enough to make up for posting the story so late. Now, I won't bother you. Go and read the chapter.**

* * *

That's when the doorbell rang.

_WEIRD_...It's like, 12 AM. What kind of psycho would ring the doorbell this late?

Hmm...a serial killer? Probably. Hang on...remind me again why serial killers would ring the doorbell when they were about to commit murder? Oh wait, they _don't_.

_DING-DONG._

Okay, totally freaking out right now. Somebody rang the doorbell TWICE. At MIDNIGHT. I don't remember writing about this in my fanfiction...

_BANG!_

I sprang from my bed. This psycho just banged on our door.

_BANG! BANG!_

''What the _hell_...?'' I heard mom's voice from the next room.

_BANG!_

''Mom!'' I shout. I am officially scared. Cameron did _not_ write this.

''Sam!?''

''I'm in my room, Mom!''

''Okay, stay where you are! I'm going down there and see what's going on.''

I opened my bedroom door slightly and peeked through the tiny gap. I could see a small light coming from the candle Mom's holding. She was halfway through the stairs when she yelled,

''Who's there!?''

No answer.

''WHO'S THERE!?'' Mom tried again.

_BANG! BANG! BANG!_

''I'M CALLING THE POLICE!''

''WAIT, DON'T!'' cried an unfamiliar voice.

Um, okay...awkward. How about a recap? Some psycho rings the doorbell at midnight and almost knocks down our door. Then Mom tells them she'll call the police, and they beg her _not_ to do that. Yup, completely logical (sarcasm). And what's even more logical is that this scene was not in my fanfiction (again, sarcasm).

I creep out of my bedroom and go to the stairs, where my mom is still standing.

''Mom...?'' I whisper.

Mom jumps and turns around, her candle almost brushing my face.

''Whoa, mom! Chill! It's me!'' I say, taking a step backwards.

Last thing I want is my skin on fire. I'm going to Hogwarts and meet Harry Potter, after all, and I don't think an angry red burn on my cheek sets off such a good impression.

''Oh, Sam...I'm sorry, I didn't see you there.''

''Obviously,'' I murmur, rolling my eyes. ''I was right _behind_ you in the _dark_, what did you expect?''

Luckily, Mom didn't hear that because she was too busy staring at the now magically opened door.

Wait...Magically opened door...?

Mom's scream pierces the night. She runs up the stairs, and into her room.

''Wait!'' exclaims the tall, grey-haired woman standing in the doorway. ''We mean you no harm!''

She and the short, plump man beside her throw up their arms, the way people do when surrendering to the police or saying ''No offense.''

''HELLO!? POLICE!?'' Mom shouted on the phone. Her voice was panicky and frustrated. I've never heard her talk like that. But then again, she's not even my _real_ mom...''THERE ARE TWO _PSYCHOS _IN MY HOUSE RIGHT NOW! THEY—THEY RANG THE DOORBELL AND STARTED BANGING ON OUR DOOR! THEN WHEN I THREATENED TO CALL YOU, THEY OPENED THE DOOR, JUST LIKE THAT! I DON'T KNOW HOW THEY DID IT! I DOUBLE-LOCKED IT LAST NIGHT! I'M REALLY SCARED! PLEASE HELP!''

The woman and man looked extremely worried, like they were gonna explode or something.

And _that's_ when I realized what they were wearing: robes. Not the kind of robes muggles use when they take a bath or something, but the kind of robes you're probably thinking of right now: _Wizard robes_.

And in their hands were sticks. _Wands_...

I ALMOST SCREAMED.

HOW CAN I REALIZE THAT JUST NOW? These people...these people are the ones who will explain all about my magical-ness to Mom! They're the ones who'll take me to Hogwarts! And they're the ones who Cameron-who's-full-of-plotholes did not write about in her fanfiction!

I still don't understand. This didn't happen in the story Cameron wrote, so why is it happening now? Unless...unless this is my own fanfiction correcting itself! Makes sense? No? Never mind...

'CAUSE I'M GOING TO HOGWARTS!

I almost forgot about Mom. She's still shouting over the phone. If she doesn't stop, the police might actually come and this could end badly. I should stop her, but I'm not really in the position to do that. I'm supposed to be Completely Clueless Scared Muggle Girl right now.

Am I?

This scene didn't happen in the actual story, so how am I supposed to react? I got my Hogwarts letter, so should I tell Mom not to worry?

OH SHOOT.

I didn't tell Mom about the Hogwarts letter! Yeah, I know, right? How could I possibly forget? (facepalms self) Stupid Cameron. I'd have to tell Mom sooner or later.

''Yes, yes, thank you!'' Mom concluded.

Wait...so she just finished her phone call and I was just standing here, looking awkward? Nice job, Sam. Now the police will come and that witch and wizard are both gonna get in trouble. But really, they're a WITCH and WIZARD. It's not something they can't solve...right?

Mom's bedroom door bursts open.

''STAND BACK!'' Mom yells. She's pointing a frying pan at the witch and wizard. A very legitimate weapon, indeed. And a weird thing to keep in a bedroom, too.

''Please!'' the wizard pleads. ''We're not going to hurt you!''

''We came to explain something to you!'' said the witch.

''EXPLAIN WHEN YOU'RE IN PRISON!'' Mom shouts. ''SAM, GET OVER HERE!''

I scurry over to her side. Mom wraps a protective arm around me.

''YOU ARE _NOT_ GOING TO TOUCH MY FAMILY!''

The witch and wizard nod.

''Now...'' Mom has finally calmed down a little. ''You're going to hand in your weapons, and wait for the police to come. One wrong move, and you _get it._'' She swings the frying pan in a slapping motion.

''Mom, are you serious?'' I whisper. ''You won't be able to deflect a bullet with a _frying pan_!'' But she's not listening. All this is _so_ unrealistic. But, what the heck, it's fanfiction! Anything can happen.

''We don't have any weapons!'' The witch says. ''See?'' She pulls out her pockets, and so does the wizard.

''What about the pockets inside your cloaks?'' says Mom, her eyes narrowed.

The witch and wizard hesitantly pull off their robes and toss them aside. I look away. Seeing people in their underwear isn't my thing, even when I was Cameron.

''Please! We're telling the truth!'' said the wizard.

I pull myself together and manage to look at him. Now he and his friend are kneeling on the floor. Fantastic.

''I don't believe you,'' says Mom.

Ah, I guess it's time.

''Mom, they're not gonna hurt us,'' I tell her. I disentangle myself from her arm and stand in front of her. Her eyes widen.

''What do you mean?''

''They're here to...to explain everything. To explain to you that I'm...that I'm...'' I gulp. ''That I'm a witch.''

''Enough nonsense, Sam.''

''It's not nonsense!'' But if I was standing in her shoes, I might have thought the same. After all, when your 14-year-old daughter suddenly tells you she's a witch, wouldn't you think she's going a bit cray cray?

''It's true,'' says the grey-haired witch. ''We came here to—''

''ENOUGH!'' Mom bellows. ''No more nonsense!''

''I'll show you, Mom! I'll show you!''

I run to my room and search for my Hogwarts letter.

''SAM! Come back here!'' Mom calls after me.

''Oh, Hogwarts letter...Come out, come out...Where in the seven Hells are you...!? Oh, here you are!''

I grab the letter and run back to Mom.

''Here...'' I pant. She takes it from my hands and reads it.

''What...the...''

''_Now, _you get it?'' I ask her. ''I'm sorry I didn't show you before. It just slipped from my mind, and...and...'' _And I was too excited to meet Harry Potter that I forgot to tell you about it._

''Is this...true?''

''Yes, it's true!'' the witch says, relieved. ''And we've come to tell you about it! If you'll just listen to us—'' she broke off.

Outside is the siren of several police cars. Or there might just be two. I don't know.

''Oh no!'' cries the wizard.

''Don't worry, Al, I got this,'' the witch assured him.

Then she ran outside the door and took out her wand. Me and Mom watched through the window to see what's going on.

''_Obliviate_!''

I can't see the witch, but I can hear her.

''Hey, what's going on?'' one of the police say, scratching his head.

''What're we doin' here?'' another wonders.

They all had a little argument before leaving. Then the witch reappears.

''Right,'' she says. ''Now that that's taken care of, how 'bout we settle things now?'' She enters the house and puts on her robes. The wizard called Al copies her. Mom seems to be super-glued to the window. ''Come, now, Mistress Whitfield.. We have things to discuss, you know.'' Mom shifts uncertainly and seats herself at the couch. ''There, that's better.'' The witch sits down as well.

I really don't know what to do. Should I sit down too, or should I just stand here, looking awkward again? Meh, I prefer sitting down.

''So, Mrs. Whitfield,'' says the wizard. ''As you may know, your young daughter, Samantha, is a witch. She has been accepted to Hogwarts, school of Witchcraft and Wizardry.'' He waits for Mom to respond. When she doesn't, he continues. ''We were quite confused because she received her acceptance letter at fourteen, and she lives in Canada. Hogwarts only accepts students from Great Britain and Ireland, and the students receive their letters at age eleven. But,'' the wizard pauses for dramatic effect, ''it turns out that Samantha's name has been registered in our school since she was born.''

''But,'' Mom splutters, '''how is that even possible? You said this—this school of yours only serves Great Britain and Ireland!''

''True, true,'' said the witch. ''No one can figure out why Samantha has been registered, but since she is, there's nothing we can do about it. We might as well let her study at our school.''

Short pause...

''Right...'' starts the wizard. ''So, anyway...We haven't introduced ourselves, have we? I'm Albert Hemmington, and she,'' he points to the witch, ''is Emmeline Ryling. You can call us Em and Al. Now, we shall _blah blah blah blah blah—_''

Yeah, it's obvious I'm not listening. I already know everything about Hogwarts (at least, I think) because that's how awesome I am. All I can think about now is:

_I'm gonna go to Hogwarts and__ meet Harry Potter! And ride a hippogriff! And meet Harry Potter! And study magic! And FREAKING meet Harry Potter!_

''Miss Samantha?'' the witch says.

She snaps her finger in front of my face, and I return to Earth.

''Uh—what?''

''Do you agree, miss Samantha?''

''With what?''

''Do you agree to let us take you to London, so you may go to Hogwarts?''

My eyes dart up. I'm going to London! To Hogwarts!

''Uh...yeah! But, Mom...do you agree?''

She shifts uncertainly, then nods.

''Excellent!'' The wizard claps his hands once. ''Now, we're running a bit late, so would you mind letting us help you pack your trunk?''

''Um...there's no need,'' I say. ''I already packed a suitcase yesterday.''

''Very well!'' exclaimed the wizard. ''Now, we're going to the Leaky Cauldron. It is a magical inn in London, near Diagon Alley. Diagon Alley is where magical people do their shopping. We have already bought your books and equipment. All you need now is a wand.''

''How are we going there?'' I ask.

''By Floo Powder!'' answered the witch. ''How to explain it...hmm...Well, basically, it is traveling by fireplace. We put Floo Powder in your fireplace, and a green fire appears. You must step into it and say, loud and clear, your desired destination. Do you understand it?''

''Er...yeah!'' I say. Only because I've learned about Floo Powder literally ages ago.

''Your fireplace has been connected to Floo Network, for this single purpose,'' says the wizard. ''After we transport you to London, your fireplace will be disconnected once more. Why don't you get your trunk now, so we can get going?''

I run to my room and get my suitcase. I also have an extra bag, 'cause all my stuff wouldn't fit into one suitcase. Then I run back to the living room.

''We don't have much time left,'' says the witch. ''So if you have to say goodbyes, better do it quickly.''

I turn to Mom. I never really thought about saying goodbye to her. So this is pretty awkward.

''Uh...bye, Mom. I guess.''

''Bye, honey.'' Her voice is quiet. Then she stands up and hugs me. I pat her back. Awkwardly, of course. ''I love you. Stay safe. Have fun. Make friends. Tell me all about your adventures.''

I feel something wet drop on my shoulders. Oh, great. Mom's crying. What do I do, what do I do, what do I do!?

''Yeah, Mom,'' I say eventually. ''Love you too. I'll definitely have fun and make friends. And I'll tell you all about it.'' There. That's good.

She kisses my forehead.

''Alright,'' Mom says, letting go of me. ''You can go do whatever it is you're gonna do now.''

The wizard nods. ''We're on a tight schedule!'' Then he takes out a little box and strides over to the fireplace. ''Okay, now watch me carefully, Sam.''

He opens the box and pours some powder into the fireplace. Then emerald flames appear. He then steps right into the flames and yells, loudly and clearly, ''Leaky Cauldron!'' The flames disappear, and so does he.

I feel a hand pushing me forward.

''Go on,'' the witch says behind me. She hands me a handful of Floo Powder. ''Just do what Al showed you. Pour the powder into the fireplace, and when you step into the green fire, you have to say 'Leaky Cauldron' loud and clear. Remember, you better say it _loudly _and _clearly_, or else you might end up in some other fireplace. You understand, _loudly_ and—''

''Alright!'' I say. I pour the Floo Powder into the fireplace as instructed, and step into the emerald flames. It's not so hot. But it definitely is uncomfortable. I feel something enter my mouth, and I choke. Probably ashes. But I'm prepared for this. I stand on my tiptoes, and shout ''Leaky Cauldron!''

I hear a faint ''I love you!'' from Mom before the world starts spinning.

And this is where my adventure starts.


	6. Ze Sixth Chapter

I cover my mouth as I cough. Stupid ashes. The emerald flames disappear, and I'm left standing in some fireplace, my face and body covered entirely in soot. Okay, not entirely. Just...partially.

As usual, I stand for a few moments looking awkward. I really need to stop doing that. But I can't help it.

I don't know what to do now. Let's see...what would a normal person do in this situation? Step out of the fireplace? I suppose so. So I step out of the fireplace, banging my head twice in the process. Thanks, brick wall or whatever. I owe you one.

Hang on. I forgot to get my stuff. Dammit!

I go back to the freaking fireplace, duck so my head won't hit the surface, and pick up my bag and suitcase on the hearthrug. Take that, fireplace! You can't hurt — BANG! I swear to God I'm gonna get amnesia one of these days. Or maybe in the next second.

Okay, so..._now_ what do I do?

Suddenly there's a weird popping voice and Em the witch steps out of the fireplace.

''Welcome to the Leaky Cauldron!'' Oh, right. I completely forgot I was in the Leaky Cauldron. ''It's good you got back all right. We were afraid you would lose your way, seeing as it's your first time travelling by Floo Powder.''

I take a good look at my surroundings. I see tables and chairs, nothing more. The entire pub is deserted. Not unexpected, considering it's, what, 2 in the morning? I'm not really sure, so I ask Em what time it is.

''Hey, uh, d'you know what time it is?'' I ask her.

''Sorry dear, I don't have a watch. Maybe Al does,'' she answers. ''Hey Al, have you got a watch?''

The wizard called Al lifts his head. I only just noticed him, sitting in a table near us. Yeah, I know, I'm so good at spotting things right away. ''Yeah,'' says Al. He checks the time. ''It's half past twelve.''

I have to say, I'm shocked. I didn't realize the whole explaining-about-my-witchiness-to-Mom stuff took only 30 minutes.

''So now let's get down to business,'' says Al. He stands up and takes out a key from a pocket in his robes. I can't believe he's almost my height, just a few inches taller, I think. ''This,'' he says, turning to me, ''is the key to room...Em, what's the room number again?''

''Oh Al, you're so forgetful! 501!''

''Right, 501,'' Al continues. ''It's where you'll be staying for the night. We've brought up all your Hogwarts things there, except your wand, of course.''

''That reminds me,'' Em says suddenly, ''I think she's still missing robes.''

Al smacks his forehead. ''Right you are, Emmeline! All your Hogwarts stuff, except your wand _and _robes. I knew I was missing something!''

''Yes, yes,'' Em cuts him off. ''Now, let's go get your personal things and bring them up to your room, shall we?'' She goes to something like a help desk you see in hotel lobbies that I, as you might have guessed, did not realize was there in the first place. Em rings the tiny bell on the desk and a second later, a toothless man appears. He immediately glances in my direction as though he'd always known I was there.

''Ah,'' he says. ''Our guest has arrived. I suppose you have your things with you already?''

I nod.

''Very well.'' With a snap of his fingers, my bag and suitcase float out of my hand and up a flight of stairs. Whoa. I know all about magic and all that, but this is the first time I'm actually witnessing it for myself if you don't count the whole erasing the police' memories thing with Em. I mean, I couldn't even see her back then.

I realize my mouth is open and quickly close it.

''Remember, we don't have much time, so we better get along fast,'' says Em. ''Sorry Sam, but we can't visit your room yet. We still have lots to do!'' Then she pushes me to what looks like a backdoor. Al follows us shortly.

I'm sure you already know where I am and what's gonna happen next. I'm standing in front of a brick wall, and not just any brick wall, the entrance to Diagon Alley! I try as hard as I can not to do my very special happy dance. Em takes out her wand and starts tapping certain bricks. A tiny hole forms which gets bigger and bigger, yadda yadda. I practically _run._ This is truly the most exciting day of my life ever! Well...maybe not. Let's scratch that. The most exciting day of my life_ yet. _

''Welcome to Diagon Alley,'' says Al. ''I apologize Sam, but I'm afraid we cannot let you visit all the shops today.'' I understand, of course, but deep in my immature mind..._Noooooooo! How dare you do this to meeeee!_

''Yes, we're on a tight schedule!'' says Em. I wanna pout and cross my arms and stomp my feet, but that's not gonna happen. I just nod obediently. Em smiles apologetically at me. ''And besides, most of the shops are closed. Only Ollivanders and Madam Malkin's are open. But if you weren't doing your late shopping, they would be sleeping soundly in their homes right now.''

That sounds like an accusation, don't you think?

So...we go to Madam Malkin's first. Even though she's not much of a major character in the Harry Potter series, it's still pretty cool to have met her, I guess. It would have been cooler if she had enough sleep though, because she's acting all grumpy tonight. She takes measurements (the measuring tape is measuring by itself!), makes me try on some robes, and charges me some money for the robes.

Oops. I don't have money. Well actually I do, but I only have Muggle dollars. Plus, I freaking left it in my bag which is currently in the Leaky Cauldron right now.

I was about to tell Em and Al (who were both looking a bit sleepy) about my little problem when the former hands Madam Malkin her own money. I know I should feel bad about having someone else pay or something but..._Yay, somebody else payed for me! *mental happy dance* _

I say, ''Oh, you don't have to!'' only because it seemed like the right thing to do. As expected, Em shakes her head.

''We don't have time to exchange money at Gringotts so obviously you can't pay. The headmaster also gave us enough money to provide for your needs, so not to worry. And there's nothing to feel bad about.'' She smiles.

I smile too and take the robes from Madam Malkin. She's looking a bit...disappointed. I'm guessing she was hoping I would pay with my own money, just to get back at me for taking away her precious hours of sleep. Well, too bad for her...

We leave the shop after a rather awkward goodbye with Madam Malkin (really, I feel like I've used the word ''awkward'' a bit too much) and head to Ollivanders. A bell rings as the door opens, and Al falls into a chair, fast asleep. A second later, Mr. Garrick Ollivander appeared. He's pretty lively tonight, not all grouchy with lack of rest like Madam Malkin. I guess it's in his weird nature.

''Welcome, welcome!'' he greets, shaking my hand a bit too roughly for my taste.

''Yes, yes, let's get this over with, Garrick,'' grunts Al.

Mr. Ollivander nods. He starts taking measurements like Madam Malkin then takes a couple of boxes from the shelves and places them at my foot. Uh, not really at my foot, but beside my foot...oh, you get it!

''Try this,'' he says, opening a box and taking out a wand.

SQUEEEE! Yeah, a really childish word, but I finally got to see, and touch, a wand so what do ya expect?

I take the long stick (no really, it's a freaking _wand_!) from his fingers but he takes it away before I even got a chance to wave it. Oh God, my hand is itching to wave a wand.

''No, no, definitely not...how about...this?''

He takes the wand away too. Man, why does he do that a lot?

Several wands later, Em and Al are looking irritable while Mr. Ollivander is looking cheerful and curious at the same time. He keeps picking up boxes from the shelves while I try out the wands, and the pile of boxes is not getting any smaller.

''This one, it should be the one. Go on, try it out.''

I sigh. I already know what's gonna come before it does, and it does not involve my super fanfiction-psychic powers. Okay, maybe it does. But what I expected to come didn't come. Instead I felt a nice, warm feeling creep up to arm. I've felt that warmth a few times earlier while I held other wands, but never as strong as this one. I give it a big wave before Mr. Ollivander takes it away, but he doesn't. Does sleepiness affect psychic powers? After waving the wand I feel the warmth from my fingers grow stronger, spreading to my chest, and still Mr. Ollivander does not yank the wand away. Maybe it's because of the red and gold sparks that came from the tip of it.

''Perfect!'' Mr. Ollivander exclaims.

Em suddenly opens her eyes, but Al remains fast asleep.

''We have found your wand, Miss Whitfield.'' He shakes my hand again. Or to be more accurate, my arm. ''Thirteen and a quarter inches, Rowan, Unicorn hair, slightly springy. Excellent for defense. Congratulations.''

Yeah! I got my wand! *happy dance* Oh. My. God. I feel like fainting. I've always imagined the day I'd get my wand, and now that day finally came! But I wanted it to be something like this: beautiful girl with perfect body gets the perfect wand; the first wand she ever tried. Magnificent swishy purple and pick lights swirl the ceiling, rainbows burst from the tip of the wand, magic golden flowers shower the entire shop. Mr. Ollivander informs beautiful girl the wand she is compatible with is the most powerful and loyal wand he has ever made, and every witch and wizard doing their shopping outside peek through the shop windows to take a look at the beautiful girl with the best wand Britain's best wandmaker created.

But of course, stuff like that doesn't happen. Shame.

''Al, Al!'' Em shakes the sleeping wizard awake.

''Where's the bean!?'' Al cries.

''Don't be silly, just wake up, will you? We'd better get going...Oh, here. Six Galleons...Alright, Sam?''

I nod, clutching my wand close to my chest. It's the most precious treasure I ever owned.

Mr. Ollivander bows us out of his shop, and a close sign magically appears on the front door.

''Now, we've had a long day...'' Em yawns. ''Get to bed, and when — when — when you wake up, have some breakfast and we'll head to — to — King's Cross.''

I keep nodding. I'm starting to feel lightheaded.

We reach the brick wall, Em taps the certain bricks that will open the door that leads to the Leaky Cauldron, she guides me to room 501, and I go to bed. Yawning...shifting positions...imagining pulling the tail of ferret-Malfoy...sleeping.


	7. Ze Seventh Chapter

**Oh my goodness, I can't believe...although it's pretty useless ranting excuses, I feel the need to apologize for being so inactive. So, sorry guys! Here's the seventh glorious chapter!**

* * *

''Hurry!''

Yeah, yeah, I'm comin'. No need to rush, grasshopper. Oh, there goes another whistle from the train. I know I'm freaking late, do you really need to be rubbing it in my face? Merlin, it's like everybody's angry at me or something. Even the train!

I waddle (What? I'm carrying a suitcase and a bag that are both heavy as hell! Give me a break!) toward an open train door, getting sandwiched between several families on the way. I end up gasping for breath before I even _really _reach the train door. When my lungs feel like lungs again, I haul my suitcase in the train which felt like having my muscles ripped off. Then I have to haul my bag too, which feels like having my whole arm ripped off. I know I'm exaggerating a bit too much, but really, I had to wake up after a completely frustrating dream wherein I thought I was Cameron again and I was returning to my normal life, then I got scolded and experienced the very rare shouting season that comes only once every three or so years.

Give. Me. A. Freaking. Break.

After that, I took a lame bus to get to King's Cross and now I'm stuck between a door and my luggage. The perfect set-up for my first ride to Hogwarts.

I somehow manage to get on the train. Before I start looking awkward again, I take one last look at the window and find Em and Al waving at me. I wave back.

''Have fun!'' shouts Em.

''Meet friends!'' yells Al.

You know, they may not be _real _people, but they sure felt real. ''Yeah, sure! And don't forget to say hi to my mum for me!''

''Don't worry, we won't!''

I smile at them then pick up my stuff. I wonder what it'd be like if I was here as Cameron with my real mom. Everything would be a mystery, I guess. I wouldn't know what happens next. I wonder if it's more fun that way.

I search for an empty compartment which, to me, seems like searching for unicorns in a park because really, every. Single. Compartment. Is. Full.

Ah, if I had known this would happen, I'd have written something like this:

_I search for an empty compartment, receiving many stares and whispers on the way. Probably wondering who I was and why I was here. I really don't need that on my first train ride to Hogwarts. _(Actually, this is happening right now)

_Oh, looks like this one is empty. Oh wait. It's not. There's only one other person in it. I think it's a boy. As I take a closer look, I realize it _is _a boy. A cute one, at that._

_Hang on, what am I saying?_

_''Need a hand?''_

_''Oh, thanks.'' He helps me with my trunk. ''Um, is it really okay for me to sit here?''_

_''Sure,'' the boy says._

_I notice he has green eyes like me. And they're almond-shaped. I love almonds!_

_''Something the matter?'' _

_''What? Oh, no! No no no! I was just...dazed. That's all.'' I somehow manage a smile. Probably a crappy one. _

_He smiles back and I feel like a thousand suns are burning in my chest. Lame, I know, but true._

_He invites me to sit so I do. We talk a bit and I find out his name is Harry Potter. _

_''I'm Sam Whitfield,'' I introduce myself._

_''Nice to meet you,'' he says. ''You know, you're one of the first people not to have gasped or screamed when they found out I'm Harry Potter.''_

_''And why would I gasp or scream?''_

_''Because...well...''_

_He tells me his sad life story and I comfort him. The poor thing._

_''Thank you.'' He gives me a warm smile._

By that point, they talk and realize how awesome both of them were then they'd leave the train hand-in-hand.

But I didn't write that. And I don't have the power to change what I wrote in the past because I'm not psychic.

I mean, that _was _the past, wasn't it?

Whatever.

FINALLY! I THANK WHATEVER GODS MIGHT HAVE FAVOURED ME! AT LONG LAST, I HAVE WITNESSED A MIRACLE!

An empty compartment. That's the miracle.

At least, I thought it was empty. There was one other on board.

''YOU!'' I scream, pointing a threatening finger at him.

He raises an eyebrow.

Oh god oh god oh god. Crap crap crap crap.

HE DOESN'T FREAKING KNOW ME! WHY AM I SCREAMING AT HIS FACE!? OH THE HUMILIATION. I MAY DIE NOW. I WOULDN'T MIND.

''Uh - sorry, thought you were someone else. Okay, gotta go, bye!''

I quickly shut the door and head toward the opposite direction. Then I remember that everywhere else is full. Add that to the sudden earthquake that turned out to be the departure of the train.

Well, it's official. If fate was a person, I'd definitely punch them and turn them into a ferret or something so that they shall forever live in shame and disgrace.

_Very _reluctantly, I return to Destroyer of Lives' compartment. And guess what?

IT WAS COMPLETELY _AWKWARD_!

''Erm...do you mind if I s-sit here? 'Cause, you know...all the other compartments are - are - ''

The train jolts forward and I fall flat on my face. As I expected, the nasty Slytherin boy just sat there and watched as I fell to the valley of embarrassment. I mean, I know I just screamed at his face for no apparent reason and all, but really! Rude or not, I _am _a girl, and if that doesn't prove anything, he should at least let his gentle side show by simply grabbing my arm or something!

But in a way, I'm pretty glad he didn't touch me, because I seriously don't want any of his ferret fur on my skin. Although it still sucks to have a broken nose.

I somehow manage to pull myself up (with a certain heartless blonde as the audience) and take a seat. I feel like if I open my mouth I'll start throwing up at Malferret's shoes, which is the last thing I want. Because, well, I don't fancy having my precious half-digested food getting all dirty. Plus, I don't think such an act would do my reputation any favours.

Am I talking too much?

''I see you've gotten tired of playing games.'' Draco Malfoy sneers at me. Oh, how I want to rip those prissy corners of his mouth! ''What do you call it? Trip 'n' Stumble? Or were you practicing for a play entitled _Losers on A Train_?''

''As a matter of fact, I was,'' I say boldly. I'm bold sometimes, you see. ''But you got the title wrong. The play is called _Heartless Ferrets on A Train_.''

He squints his eyes.

''You're one to talk, considering I just watched you fall and scramble around the floor like some monkey. You're lucky I'm quite on my more patient side today; otherwise, I would have cut off that overlarge ear on your right.''

I turn red. This boy sure knows which nerves to hit. If Cameron gave her heroine _one _flaw, it's unevenly-sized ears. Samantha Whitfield, I'm afraid, has a bigger ear on her right than on her left.

And right now, that is pissing me off so effing much.

''At least I wasn't transfigured into an animal and thrown up and down in public for the whole school to see,'' I say.

''Who are you, anyway?''

''Who are _you_?''

He smirks. ''Just how ignorant are you? Not even knowing who I am...very well, then. For your information and my amusement, my name is Draco Malfoy. And my father just happens to be a very influential person, so you might want to filter what comes out of your traps, because you will surely regret not doing so once you're behind bars.''

''Well, then, _Draco Malfoy, _you might want to consider brushing your teeth sometimes, 'cause you'll surely regret not doing it once you get charged for causing the death of several bad-breath-allergic plants.''

I mentally kick myself. That was the worst joke I've ever come up with. But hey, who said I was the best comedian in town?

''You're insufferable,'' Ferret says.

''You're impudent,'' I counter.

''You're appalling.''

''You're a stuck-up, good for nothing, dependent prat.''

That shut him up. I think. He might just have gotten bored of talking to me. Either way, it's a win.

I spend the next hour staring out the window. You wouldn't believe how beautiful the landscapes are. There are, like, mountains here and there, fields and rivers and hills...regular nature stuff you don't get to see in cities and suburbs. And the best part is I get to enjoy the view without hearing Ferret's voice.

That is, until the trolley lady arrived at our door.

''Anything from the trolley, dears?'' she asked.

''I'll take some of everything,'' says Ferret. He takes out a couple Galleons from his pocket and hands them to the lady.

''What about you, darling?'' The lady turns to me.

I panic. I really, really want some of everything too, but I don't think I have enough money. I still had a few Knuts and Sickles, but I'm not sure that would get me very far.

''Dear?'' the lady calls. I snap out of it.

''Uh...'' I stammer. God, what should I do? I take out all the coins from my pocket and hand most of it to the lady. ''Some of your bestsellers, please.'' Then with a second thought, I fish out the rest of the coins and give them up too. I figure it's better being completely broke than hungry. Besides, I'm getting Chocolate Frogs and Licorice Wands and Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans!...assuming I have enough money.

''Here you go,'' says the lady as she takes a whole bunch of stuff from the cart and drops it into Ferret's arms. Then she hands me a few things too.

I gasp. Guess what I'm holding? CAULDRON CAKES AND PUMPKIN PASTIES AND DROOBLE'S BEST BLOWING GUM AND A LOT OF OTHER THINGS MY PATHETIC AMOUNT OF MONEY COULDN'T HAVE POSSIBLY BOUGHT! But I soon know why.

''A little extra for the newcomer.'' The woman winks at me.

''Thank you very much!'' I exclaim.

Ferret gives me a kind of evil eye. All I can say is,_ HA! I got free stuff_ _and you didn't!_ I bet he's jealous even though he already has a bigger candy pile than me.

''Newcomer?'' he repeats.

I totally ignore him. Instead, I devour a Chocolate Frog. It's _amazing._

''Probably just a load of rubbish,'' Ferret mumbles to himself, a little too loudly. ''A newcomer? At Hogwarts? It's as sane as Xenophilia Lovegreen...''

I almost choke. A strong urge to say, ''It's _Xenophilius Lovegood_'' hits me, then I remind myself he probably wouldn't care anyway._  
_

''...Then again, with that fool of a Headmaster...''

That little...calling Dumbledore a fool...ugh!

''So are you really a newcomer?'' he finally asks me.

''And are you really a ferret?'' I say coolly.

He rolls his eyes and the ignore-and-be-ignored strategy continues. To be honest, I don't really know if it's a good idea or not to keep my situation a secret from him, but he's not even part of the real plot, so I doubt there's even a need for him to know. Besides, it has a pretty good advantage. Not knowing I'm a Canadian transfer student would make him think he's missing out on a lot of things, and we all know that simply does not fly with him.

* * *

You would most likely be in great shock if I told you I spent the rest of the train ride in absolute silence, munching all my candy till my stomach hurt. Literally. You probably expected me to have an awesome trip to Howarts, meeting new people every second, being praised for my pretty face. But sadly, I'm just a not-so-normal fourteen-year-old awkward transfer student, nothing more. And to raise my spirits, I'd like to say this whole scene shouldn't even be part of this story considering I never wrote it so naturally it'd fail expectations. The real fun begins when I get sorted...in other words, when we actually start to follow the plot.

At least, I think we will.

I quickly put on my Hogwarts robes before the dreaded mouse returns from his legendary trip to the bathroom. Just so you know, we're about to arrive at the castle of heroes, the kingdom of magic, the palace of fantasies, where one's dreams come true. _And I am so freaking excited!_

The train starts to slow down and...whoa whoa wait...THE TRAIN STARTS TO SLOW DOWN!?_  
_

I rush to the window and gasp.

Hello, fulfilled dreams.


	8. Ze Eighth Chapter

Okay. Inhale, exhale. Inhale, exhale. Keep calm, Sam. Just keep calm..._How do you expect me to keep calm when my dream is like, 3 meters away!? _I am just so friggin' excited, I can't even...okay, will you allow me to scream? 'Cause I'm gonna scream.

AAAAAAAHHHHHH!

Okay, done. *breathes rapidly* Now we're _finally _gonna follow the plot. From this point, Sam will meet Harry, they'll share a carriage and talk for a bit (at he same time be very, very awkward), and the story goes on. I am so excited! And I don't mind if it's all fluff, as long as I'm with Harry! Yeah, I'm that kind of girl.

I enter a carriage and surprise! There's Harry.

Finally! My life-long dream has come true! I'm the happiest girl at Hogwarts — no, in the entire world! *happy dance* Compared to all the platypus roadkill at school, and that stupid blonde ferret, Harry looks like a majestic peacock!

Is it weird for me to say that?

''Hi,'' I say.

''Er, hello,'' says Harry. His British accent is so cute!

''Can I sit here?'' My heart feels like exploding!

''Sure.''

I sit on the seat opposite him and we're silent for a while. Okay...okay...just...just calm down...calm the hell down...

''So...uh...I'm Samantha Whitfield, by the way.''

''I'm Harry...'' then with a moment's hesitation, ''Harry Potter.''

"Cool name.'' *mental facepalm* _Cool name? _Really? Couldn't I do better?

''Uh...thanks?''

Another moment of silence. This is getting more and more awkward by the second.

''Are you from America?'' he asks me.

''No, I'm from Canada,'' I answer.

''Oh. Well, I've never met a Canadian who studies here before. What's your House?''

I gulp. Oh yeah. Now I remember _another _plothole. ''Actually...I haven't been sorted yet.''

Harry looked bewildered. Well, who wouldn't be? ''What year are you in?''

I'm 14, so I should be a fourth-year, right? ''I'm a transferee,'' I end up saying.

''Is that possible?'' Harry asks me. How would I know? This is fanfiction!

''I guess?''

''Then which school did you come from?'' God, I never knew Harry could get so curious. Could this possibly be a sign that he's interested in me?

''This is my first time attending a magical school.''

''Oh.''

I feel the carriage starting to move. Yes! Hogwarts, here I come!

''So you're Muggle-born?'' Harry asks.

''Yep.'' I had a strong urge to say _I think. _'Cause, you know, I'm not really sure if Sam Whitfield is Muggle-born. Her dad is nowhere to be seen. He might be a wizard. ''Do you have any Muggle-born friends?'' Okay, we all know he has an awesome, kick-arse Muggle-born friend who goes by the name Hermione ''Sass Queen'' Granger, but due to my lack of anything better to say, I ask anyway.

''Yeah. Her name's Hermione Granger, but I can't find her. Ron, too...''

''They could be dating or something,'' I kid. But in reality, the thought of Ron and Hermione dating makes me puke. Seriously, why would anybody ship that pairing? Bleh.

Harry nods but he doesn't respond. Did I hit a nerve or something?

''Hey, I'm joking,'' I try to cover up.

''I know,'' Harry replies. Then something happens...he looks at me and smiles.

Suddenly the world is melting...uh, I can't...I can't breathe...what is this lump in my throat? I think my cheeks are burning. What's happening? Why is my face red-hot? Why do I feel like I'm eating fire?

_Sam blushed so furiously her face was the color of the setting sun._

Oh right. That's why. Luckily it's so dark that Harry can't see me blushing. I don't think we'd be able to handle the awkwardness.

Another moment of silence. This really isn't how I imagined it...but hey, this is how I wrote the story! Okay, just to console myself, I'll remind myself that the fic gets better as it progresses. Yeah, that's right...

The carriage finally comes to a halt. Which would mean...

I jump out immediately. What I saw made me gasp.

Hogwarts.

I start doing the happy dance. I haven't done that in so long...

People are staring at me, but who cares? I'm finally at Hogwarts! And my life-long dream to meet Harry Potter has come true! Yay!

I start skipping all the way to the castle's enormous entrance. I don't care who sees, and I don't care if people think I'm weird. I just skip and skip and skip and...bam!

''Watch where you're going, will you?'' Hey, I know that voice! Could it be — ?

''_You again?_'' I hiss. Oh great. Just great. I was already in the best mood I'd ever been in, then the ferret comes along. Ugh!

He smirks that ridiculous smirk of his. ''Are you stalking me?''

My eyes widen. ''You're a million years to early to even consider it!''

''Whatever, squirrel girl.''

I stop in my tracks. ''What did you just call me?''

He smirks again. ''Are you deaf, or do you simply have short-term memory?''

With that, he turns his back on me and moves along. I was left there with my mouth hanging open. _Squirrel girl? _That son of a —

''Settle down, settle down, everyone!'' a familiar voice shouts. I stand on my tiptoes to see who the speaker was, and I was not disappointed.

It's Minerva McGonagall! *shrieks* Wow! I just — I'm so — *shrieks again*

''Ah, Miss Whitfield.'' Yay! She knows me!

''Yes?'' I say.

''Please line up here with the first-years. You shall be sorted with them.''

''Okay. But wait — am I a first-year too?''

''Would you like to be a first-year?''

''Well...uh...no.'' Seriously, do you think any 14-year-old would want to go to class with 11-year-olds?

''Then you shall be instantly promoted to fourth-year, provided that you promise to do your best to keep up.''

''Yes, Professor.''

''Very well,'' then to the bunch of first-years, ''Hurry along now!''

We follow Professor McGonagall to the front of the Great Hall. I guess Harry was right; you could easily fit ten cathedrals in here! I can see Hagrid, Professors Dumbledore, Snape, Flitwick, everyone! I feel like I'm going to faint! Professor McGonagall places the Sorting Hat on a stool. This. Is. So. Freaking. Cool.

The Sorting Hat starts singing its song, the one it sung in _Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire _because I couldn't be bothered to write a new one. I just...I'm...I just can't believe this is happening!

Okay. Inhale, exhale. Inhale, exhale. You'll be fine, Sam, just keep a level head...

All the first-years are shaking from nervousness while I'm shaking from excitement. I'm finally gonna be sorted! I waited years and years for this!

The Sorting Hat finally finishes its song. I wonder what House I'll belong to? Ooh, I hope I get put in Gryffindor! Hey, don't get the wrong idea, I just wanna be a Gryffindor so I get to be in the same House as Harry. But I guess Slytherin's fine. In fact, I really wouldn't be surprised if I get sorted into Slytherin. The only bad side is that I'll have to share a House with the life-ruining ferret.

Professor McGonagall takes out her legendary list of first-years to be sorted and starts reading names.

''Ackerley, Stewart!''

A boy runs to the Sorting Hat and puts it on, yadda yadda yadda.

More names...more first-years...more nervousness...Gah, why did Cameron have to make a heroine whose surname starts with _W_!?

Then finally, at long, long last, after an eternity of waiting, ''Whitfield, Samantha.''

Okay...okay...inhale, exhale. Inhale, exhale. You can do this, Sam. Just keep a good composure, walk to the front, and...boom!

I tripped.

A whole crowd laughed. Like, a _whole crowd._

Crapcrapcrapcrapcrapcrap. Fudgeohfudgeohfudgeohfudge. THIS IS VERY CONVENIENT, YOU KNOW?

Okay, so I walk to the stool, put on the hat(!), and yeah.

''Bit of a cunning one, eh?''

I jump. Almost literally.

_Uh...yes? _I say mentally. What else could I do?

''Interesting. And a goal, a desire, as well. A sincere burning passion in your heart.''

_Um...o — kay?_

''You intend to accomplish whatever objective you have, since before entering this school, no matter what challenges stand in the way.''

_And what would that objective be? _Yeah, I know. Seriously? _I'm _the one who has the objective but I don't know what it is — seems legit.

At that, the Sorting laughs. At least, I think it was a laugh. ''Only you know what it is you seek, though I'm afraid you are still oblivious to it. However, as time passes, you shall become aware...bit by bit...little by little...like a flower blossoming...''

_Sure...if you say so. Now can I pretty please find out which House I'll get put in?_

''Well, it's obvious, isn't it?''

A moment, then two.

''SLYTHERIN!''

Oh, that's cool.

Whoa whoa wait...what did the Sorting Hat say? Slytherin? Yep, I'm pretty sure he said Slytherin...

adskajgfdksajfgYES! OHMYGOODNESSYES! I AM AMBITIOUS, I AM CUNNING. I AM A SNAKE.

WOOHOO! Slytherin, here I come! Prepare yourselves for the prettiest, most iron-willed, awesome princess of the Serpents! Be warned: you are not facing an ordinary girl. You are not about to encounter a useless rag doll. You are seeing the next Heir of Slytherin; Samatha Whitfield.

All that would have been awesome beyond time and space if only I hadn't pulled a Neville Longbottom and ran to the Slytherin table without taking off the Sorting Hat.

So, yeah. I end up running back to a trying-not-to-smile McGonagall and handing her the old, ancient hat. Definitely the perfect Sorting scene, that I can assure you (sarcasm).

Afterwards, I run to the Slytherin table; my table.

''WHOO!'' Most of the Slytherins clap for me harder than they would have for others. Probably to make up for staring at me in wonder earlier instead of cheering for me. Well, who could blame them? Have you ever seen a new 14-year-old student at Hogwarts?

''Thanks, thanks.'' I grin. This is fabulous. While all the Slytherins greet me or introduce themselves, I search for a seat. Being one of the last people to be sorted, of course most of the spots have been taken. Anyway, who cares? I'm famous! (Not really)

One of the students moves over to give me space. Oh, lovely.

''Thanks,'' I say as I sit.

''You're sort of welcome, weasel girl,'' replies a brooding voice.

No effing way.

I immediately turn my head to see who had moved to give me space; white-blonde hair, cold grey eyes, and a pointed face...

What bad luck.

* * *

**Pffft...I know, more than a month of waiting for a crappy chapter? Seems legit. Feedback, please! Each review can save a little girl. XD**


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